Family dynamics

For me, once my parents got divorced I then had two families. I still felt involved in each family and loved by all the members, but overtime I was part of two families.

One family with my mum and my sister. In this family we often laughed and fought, we often danced in the kitchen and sang songs. My mum use to shout a lot and often cry. Me and my sister then felt the responsibility to cheer her up and hear how she was feeling. However, in my dads house, in the family of me, him and my sister, he would never shout. One of his only rules was no shouting so me and my sister followed that. In this family, we talked more and spent more time together, but sometimes laughed less and sang less as well. It is clear to me now that the two families I am a part of do many things differently, and it is down to me to adapt to the different dynamics as I go. I feel it would be easier for me if those dynamics were not as different. For example, if I could make the same jokes in both families and get a good reaction or try talk about the same subjects in both places to see more peoples view. When I consciously think about this, it becomes more apparent to how different each family behaviours with little day-to-day things. Little things which are now engraved in me, I don't think twice before changing a behaviour. However it is hard changing my actions every 3 days to fit the family dynamic but I know I can't change the members of either family to how I want them, and I am forever grateful for them nonetheless.